say anything
by kinky boot fiend
Summary: she's been gone for a week, and there's already a pipe wrench on his kitchen table. - cid/yuffie


AUTHOR'S NOTE: Yeah, yeah, I ripped off the title from the John Cusack movie, but that has got nothing to do with this fic, just felt it fit. THIS IS A CHAPTER FIC, NOT A ONE-SHOT, AS MUCH AS THE SUMMARY MAKES IT SEEM LIKE IT.

DISLCAIMER: I don't own any of it.

--

SAY ANYTHING  
_a pipe wrench & strained laughter_

--

Once upon a time, there was a super-sexy ninja with uncanny abilities to for thieving. She met a bunch of heroes set on saving the world from a big jerk named Sephiroth. This creep was the kinda guy who would steal some kid's lollipop, lick it just to piss the little guy off, then throw it on the ground and step on it until is was cracked dirty and tears streamed down his victim's face.

This drop-dead gorgeous chica and her tremendously _awesome_ gang of friends kicked that silver-haired cow's ass and then hit reset just to do it again.

Once upon a time, there was a blue-eyed dreamer, who was a crazy-good pilot too, and he was part of this ninja's crew of heroic amigos.

Yuffie, the super-sexy ninja (that's me), used to think this guy was a rough, old chain-smoker who swore every other word. Which he is, but I totally missed the look in his bright eyes reflecting the stars he shot for, the thick, permanently wind-blown hair and his heart of gold.

Okay, you got me. I've got a tiny little crush on Cid Highwind.

Just an eensy, weensy, little one, I swear.

Who'm I kidding, it's flippin' huge.

--

"Five gil says he's gay."

"For fuck's sake, gay guys don't do married women!"

"You never know," I counter, "'Sides, you know you'd laugh you're ass off."

A forced laugh echoed through the phone line, "She fuckin' deserves it." I caught the serious edge in his voice beneath the thin layer of a joke. "Don't know what I'm gonna do without her to cook my food."

"Real sweet, Cid, only gonna' miss Shera for the food." I heard a choked sound that could've been a chuckle, could've been a sob. "I'll swing by tomorrow with some fine tastin' dumplings."

--

Okay, that wasn't really the whole story, 'cause there were no tense romantic moments that build up me and Cid's _totally apparent chemistry_, were there? Nope, but don't fret, that was just a little _vignette_, as they say, about how I got to _getting to_ that _dang fine _Southern pilot.

The whole sub plot about _getting _to Cid's house is pretty boring and involves a public airship transport, an angry biker moogle with a snake tattoo and whole lot of yucky galaxy-like _barfy_ goodies that _weren't_ so awesome.

So let's just fast forward through that and go straight to the good part.

--

Hoooooooly _Jenova, _Cid's place looks like a flippin' _tornado _went off in it. There's a toolbox next to his mucky boots by the front door and there's a pipe wrench on the kitchen table.

_A pipe wrench_.

Strutting outside to where Cid is _obviously _clanging away with a monkey wrench (since his pipe wrench that was on the kitchen table is now in my hand) at his airship. His toned and tanned legs stick out from underneath the ship.

Okay, okay, he's wearing pants, I'm just guessin' that they're toned, tanned and _oh so sexy-looking._

_Damn_, my crush is ten times bigger than it was last night.

Hands on hips, pipe wrench in hand, I kick a box full of nuts and bolts beside Cid's legs. "Workin' on the Shera?"

"Fuck no."

"Renamed it?"

"Fuck yes."

"What's it called? The Great Ninja Yuffie?"

Chortling, Cid pulled himself out from under the hull of the ship-with-no-name with those ripped biceps of his.

Damn, he's got some nice guns.

_Hot _damn, he's got a _fine_ six-pack.

Okay, I'm just guessing with that too, he's (_**unfortunately**_) got a shirt on.

"Not sure what I'm gonna' call it," Cid replied, running a hand through his hair and staining it with grease. Somehow, it looks _so much hotter _like that. "Might call it 'The Highwind'."

"Kickin' it old school, huh?"

"Suppose so," he pats me on the shoulder, with his _oh-so-calloused-in-that-sexy-kinda-way _hand, "_Alexan-fucking-der _is droppin' by sometime soon to pick up the rest of Shera's shit."

"Who?"

"Shera's fuckin' boyfriend."

"_Oh-ho_, you gonna' kick his ass?"

Cid laughed, his tone was lighter than it was on the phone, but there was still something different about it. "How long has Shera been gone?" I can't hide the smug tone in my voice.

"'Bout a week or so."

I lift the pipe wrench up and shove it in his face. "A week, and you're house is a _disaster_."

"What the hell does my pipe wrench have to do with it?" He grabs the tool from my hand.

"Come _on_, it was on the _kitchen table_."

"So?" After tossing the wrench into an open toolbox, Cid starts for the door.

Cid wrenches the door open and almost slams it behind him. Since he secretly loves me, he catches it and holds it open like the gentleman he is.

At least that's what I _imagine _he'd do when he falls_ deliciously in love with me._

I open the door _by myself_ and _stomp into his house angrily_ trying to get his attention and apology. Doesn't work. _Whatever_.

"These dumplings better taste fucking good." Oh _crap_. I _totally _forgot the fine-tastin' dumplings I was supposed to bring for lunch. _Whoops_. Initiating subject change.

"Hey, did you see last night's episode of General Hospital?" Cid's a sucker for soap operas.

His eyebrow almost cocks up. "Young and the Restless, Yuff." _Damn_ it. Got his favourite wrong. "Jack Abbot's schemin' up some shit to blame on Victor." 'Course he tells me what happened anyway.

"Again?"

"The fuck you'd except? That's all Jack does." 'Kay, so I've only seen it a couple times with Cid, but it's still pretty cool. "Victor's new girlfriend died."

"Girlfriend? What happened to his wife?"

"Divorced a couple months ago. When was the last time you watched it?"

"Four months ago." Four months ago, when Shera had gone for the weekend and I came to visit him 'cause I thought Cid'd be lonely. _Flippin' wish _I could tell him that the_ girl's weekend _she was supposed to be on with Tifa (who was really working at the bar the whole time) and her _so-totally made-up friend _Alexand_ra_.

Sounds suspiciously like _Alexander_, doesn't it?

_Flippin' wish _I could tell him.

But then he'd find out that Shera'd been cheating on him for _a hell of a lot longer _than 'a couple weeks.'

His reply is strained, the content in his voice completely drained. "When Shera was out on her girl's weekend."

He knows. I don't need to say it. He probably made the connection right after Shera told him about _Alexander_.

Psh, once I wanted to name my kid Alexander. Like _that's _gonna happen now. Cid'd probably eat my brains right outta' my skull if I told him I wanted to name our baby Alexander.

Maybe we can call it Dave. Or something less generic, like Stephano.

Stephano Highwind.

Maybe.

Dave Highwind sounds _freakin' stupid _anyway.

"Where're these fuckin' dumplings?"

"Ra-ha-hiigghhttt… about those… _dumplings_… yeah… I forgot-" the doorbell rings, "-them." _Damn straight _I was saved by the bell.

"Should've seen that coming," Cid states, ambling towards the door. Was he talking about the door or the dumplings? What_ever_. I follow His Hotness (oh come on, repeating _Cid_ over and over again in my head gets old _fast_) to the door.

"Hey, Cid."

"Hey, fuckin' idiot."

There's some brown-haired guy with _disgusting amounts of unnecessary facial hair_. I can deal with beards. I can deal with moustaches. I deal with macho-man sideburns. But this guys has stuck 'em all together on _one face_.

"_Geez_, is this the ass-hat who's datin' Shera?"

"Shera and I are together, yes." This guy sounds like a stuffy old man.

"Did you know that she was _married _to the coolest guy in Rocket Town?"

"I was aware she was married."

I pull a fiver from my back pocket and slap it to Cid's chest. "Huh?" He takes it from my hand before getting an answer and slips it into his pants pocket. After givin' him that seductive wink that makes everyone (no seriously, _everyone_, even Barret would've gotten it) get it, Cid gives me this _he's-gonna-get-so-pissed-and-it's-gonna-be-hi-fuckin'-larious_ kinda' look.

"Ya' sure, Yuff?" He can't help but smirk.

"Nah, he's not gay."


End file.
